Dating a newly widowed man

The death of a spouse is one of the most traumatic events an individual can experience. However, it is possible to find love again. Men tend to start looking for love soon after the death of their wife. If a man starts dating before he has completed the grief process, he will not be able to commit fully to a new relationship.

Getty Images. After my husband and I separated, I didn't think I would ever fall in love again. I had two little children and couldn't imagine being in another relationship. I felt unlucky in love, as if perhaps I didn't deserve to be happy. Besides, I hadn't dated in 15 years and, now, didn't know where to begin. By then, every single person I'd met had baggage, including me, so it never occurred to me that dating a widower would be different from dating anyone else.

Falling in love after the loss of a spouse can be tricky for both the widower and his dates, who may have difficulty knowing how to empathize with such a loss. Showing empathy for the loss of his wife, adjusting the pace of the relationship to his needs and remembering that you do not have to compete can go a long way in building a successful relationship. A widower may use dating as a way to heal the pain of losing his wife, or he may unconsciously be seeking a replacement for her, according to the organization Widow's Hope in its website post "Dating and Marriage. Grief can also lead a widower to avoid becoming emotionally intimate with someone else, and he may resort to withdrawing, holding grudges or sarcasm to protect himself, according to clinical psychologist Ken Druck in the eHarmony article "Finding Love After Loss: 7 Steps for Moving Forward. Bringing up the late spouse is often part of the healing process for the bereaved, especially at the beginning of a relationship.

Please refresh the page and retry. A fter losing someone you love, the idea of dating again can be almost unthinkable. Some people decide to never be in a relationship again, and many see that through. Others jump straight back into it, attempting to quickly remedy their feelings or find a replacement for their lost loved one.