Dating a guy a decade older

Illustration by Erin Aniker. My First Time is a column and podcast series exploring sexuality, gender, and kink with the wide-eyed curiosity of a virgin. We all know your "first time" is about a lot more than just popping your cherry. From experimenting with kink to just trying something new and wild, everyone experiences thousands of first times in the bedroom—that's how sex stays fun, right? This week, we're talking to Amy Anderson about her experience of dating older men. I met my current partner seven years ago, when I was 21 and he was

When it comes to dating, age is just one among many factors to consider as you seek your match. We bring all of our prior life experience to any relationship we enter, so how much does it matter that one person's history is years or decades longer than the other's? Here, two experts weigh in on the benefits of dating an older man, as well as the potential drawbacks. While an older man dating a younger woman tends to raise less eyebrows than a woman's romance with a younger man , the dynamic isn't exactly stigma-free—particularly when the age gap is significant.

George Clooney and his new wife, Amal Alamuddin, are the talk of the town. What about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, who were 16 years apart when they were married? In their defense, I hardly grew up dating or crushing on men close to my age group. I always seem to date guys between 10 to 20 years older than me, and from my relationships comes some of the best memories and experiences.

When I was 25, I spent a year dating a man 20 years older than me. The Older Man was also my editor, which added a power imbalance to the mix—a dynamic we all know can be equal parts problematic and irresistible. I wonder: What do we gain and lose from dating someone of a different generation? The Older Man was a peculiar person.